I have always been in awe of my dad's ability to play the guitar. It isn't that he is an outstanding player. It is simply because his doing so has brought so much joy to our family. His playlist is somewhat limited to bluegrass, country gospel, and old folk songs that most people in my generation have never heard of. That has never mattered to me. I could sit and listen to him play the same dozen or so songs over and over...and have done just that.

I have, on several occasions, tried to play. I can do a pretty mean C, D, or G chord (which is pretty much all you need to know for bluegrass); but other than that, my fingers fumble around on the strings until they're twisted into knots.

After a session of fooling around with the guitar, my fingertips are usually sore and sensitive to the touch. In most cases, I overlook the pain and continue to practice for several nights in a row. If I keep at it long enough, the ends of my fingers get acclimated to the constant presure of the strings and I get to a point where they don't hurt at all. For as much as I would love to play really well, it seems like my life gets too busy or I get distracted by some other hobby and I ultimately put the guitar back in its case and tuck it away for a while.

I was thinking about this recently in the context of my new job. I've been here for five months and I still feel like I'm fumbling around on the fingerboard. I'm not striking the right chords and I feel off beat. Instead of my fingers being sore...my head aches...because every night when I go home I feel like I have beat my head against the wall for nine hours straight.

Theoretically, if I apply my guitar practice principles to my job, the pain will eventually go away, right? I wake up day after day, drag myself into the office, boot up the computer, try and learn something new every day, but after weeks of going through the motions, the pain is not subsiding.

My heart aches because I miss my old job so much. (Which, by the way, I traded my old job for my new job to have a shorter commute.)

My ego is bruised because I went from a nice, responsible, respected position on the corporate ladder, to the bottom slat of the government stepstool.

My head aches because I don't understand why people do the things they do here.

Unfortunately, this job is not as much like playing the guitar as I would like it to be. If I get frustrated when playing the guitar, I put it away for a while until I feel I'm ready to tackle it again. Quitting this job is not an option. I can't just tuck it away in the closet for a while until the desire to play strikes me again. I have to work/practice every day, regardless of how sore my fingers (head, heart, nerves) get at the end of the day, and hope that I get better.

How about you? Have you ever been stuck in a job wher everything seemed like a sour note? Did you ever find the melody, or did you trade your guitar in for a set of drums to bang on? Tell me about it.