40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work
It is Saturday night. I just spent the day with a very good friend. We did the movie thing, the lunch thing, the after lunch imported beer thing and the gossip thing. It almost ALMOST made me forget how much I hate my new (well-paying and non-commuting) job.
Alas, I opened my e-mail and got the following e-mail from another good friend and it reminded me very quickly about my sucky job. It may be the lazy way to create a blog entry, but it was too good to just delete from my in-box. Add this to the fact that I silently say at least a half dozen of these A DAY to my co-workers, I just HAD to post it.
This is something that has probably floated around the internet anonymously for years. I cannot take credit for these gems myself. But if anyone wants to lay clam to them...be my guest.
40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work -
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're stupid.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed & challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
24. Do I LOOK like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder — my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary.
40. Oh I get it; like humor, but different.
Alas, I opened my e-mail and got the following e-mail from another good friend and it reminded me very quickly about my sucky job. It may be the lazy way to create a blog entry, but it was too good to just delete from my in-box. Add this to the fact that I silently say at least a half dozen of these A DAY to my co-workers, I just HAD to post it.
This is something that has probably floated around the internet anonymously for years. I cannot take credit for these gems myself. But if anyone wants to lay clam to them...be my guest.
40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work -
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're stupid.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed & challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
24. Do I LOOK like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder — my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary.
40. Oh I get it; like humor, but different.
This is great! Thanks for sharing... 10, 18, 19 and 25 describe my daily work place to a T.
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